


Without You: Season 6 hiatus

by lizzie21



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-07-13
Packaged: 2019-05-08 23:05:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,991
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14704356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizzie21/pseuds/lizzie21
Summary: This is just my attempt to fill in the time between Felicity and William during hiatus. This will have multiple chapters.1. The immediate aftermath as Felicity and William head to the safe house. Felicity remembers their final conversation.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> We're dealt the hand we're given. And while most of us aren't happy with the ending, thankfully the writers gave us the ability to create our own moments. Thank you for reading my take. 
> 
> Please forgive any mistakes. I've read through it multiple times but my work isn't beta'd.

William hasn’t let go of Felicity’s hand since they left the police station in a black car driven by his dad’s friend Lyla. Felicity told him they were going to another safe house. William thought she’d never get the words out through her sobs especially as they watched Oliver get into the back of an armored vehicle in handcuffs. He told the world he was the Green Arrow only to spend the rest of his life behind bars.

 

Felicity stared out the window as Lyla drove the car further away from Star City, further away from Oliver. Felicity stared out the window but didn’t see where they were going. She thought it better to just go numb and to hide the continuous tears staining her cheeks by turning away from William’s gaze and looking out the window. Although, she thought it sweet that William kept his hand in hers. It’s something his father would do, too. That brought a fresh batch of tears to Felicity’s eyes.

 

It’s raining. How appropriate, she thinks. If Mother Nature can’t stop herself from crying, why should Felicity? She watches the rain drip down the car window noticing the way the streams intersect. No real pattern. And focusing on these drops of water takes Felicity’s mind into hibernation and for one second she forgets what just happened. But then Felicity feels the car come to a stop and the spell is broke. Now she focuses on where they are. A private airport, she should have guessed. And she’s transported back to the present where it’s just William and her.

 

“You know, I’ve never flown on a private jet before I knew Oliver was my dad. It’s really weird how often I fly on them now,” William said before clamoring out of the car.

 

That brought Felicity out of her depression for just a second and the corner of her mouth ticks up. “Yea, kid, I never knew what this life was like before I met the Queens either.”

 

Lyla shuffles the pair onto a plane for their two hour journey to the middle of the country and their new safe house. Felicity’s grateful to have such amazing friends in Lyla and Digg but right now she can’t bring herself to look Lyla in the eye. Because Felicity’s afraid the little bit of composure she’s holding on to will crumble to nothing and she won’t be able to pick herself up off the floor. She’d previously told Oliver she would wait for him, but after the trial she never believed she’d have to live without him. It’s her greatest fear come true.

 

Felicity settles into her seat and makes sure William is buckled in to his. Once they’ve reach altitude, she finds herself dozing on and off each time closing her eyes and replaying their goodbye.

 

_“I’m going to explain everything to you,” Oliver had just said that to William who looked smaller than usual, and scared. Felicity stands across the room and sobs quietly into her hand._

 

_“I couldn’t let Diaz continue to run our city with fear and corruption. I’ve sworn to protect your home, William, and I had to find a new way to do that. The team couldn’t beat him so we had to bring in help. And that meant asking the FBI. But, buddy, they wouldn’t do it without getting something in return. While we believe that the team keeps this city safe, the government doesn’t do vigilante justice so I had to make a decision that’s best for our family.” This is where Oliver breaks and his father’s tears bring out William’s and the interrogation room at SCPD is a blubber-fest for this young family._

 

_Felicity can’t stay across the room for long. Her boys need her and the first thing she does is put her hands on William’s shoulders trying to comfort him._

 

_“Buddy,” Oliver begins again, swallowing his tears. “I couldn’t leave you alone. So when Agent Watson offered immunity for Felicity and the rest of the team at my expense, I jumped at the chance. And I know it’s not fair to you.” Oliver looks at his wife who hasn’t spoken in countless minutes, something unusual for her. He grabs for her hand and is grateful when she laces her fingers with his. “It’s not fair to either of you. We’ve barely had any time to become a family. But you’ll have each other, and now I’ll have the opportunity to atone for some of my mistakes. God knows there’s too many to count. But as long as I know the two of you are safe, this sacrifice is worth it. I couldn’t let her take you away, Felicity.”_

 

_Oliver gets knocked in the chest and then feels William’s body against his. His right arm comes around his boy while his left arm brings his wife into the hug. Then Felicity wraps her free arm around William and that’s where the Queen family stays for as long as Agent Watson will let them. Cocooned in each other, Felicity lets her tears stain Oliver’s shirt unable to contain the spasms through her body overcome with emotion. Oliver kisses the top of her head and runs his fingers through William’s hair._

 

_Then soon, far too soon, Agent Watson comes back into the room ready to usher Oliver from the building. Oliver gives his son one more squeeze enveloping him in his embrace and etching this moment in his mind to carry with him. He turns his attention to Felicity pulling her back into his arms and laying a passionate kiss on her lips. She doesn’t have time to think, even her breath gets stuck in her throat. But her body responds by memory and before realizing what she’s doing, Felicity puts one hand behind her husband’s head and another behind his shoulders bringing their bodies as close as possible not caring about the others in the room. If this is the last time she gets to touch him for however long, because she’ll find a way to get him out, Felicity is going to sear it into her brain. They break a part when Agent Watson clears her throat._

 

_Oliver gives one last hug to his son and whispers something to him. Felicity can’t hear anything he says and before she can ask Oliver sweeps her into his arms once more. “I love you.”_

 

_“I love you, too,” Felicity says weakly unable to watch him walk out the door. Instead she grabs William and they cling to each other. Felicity smooths her hands up and down his back as Oliver is cuffed again and is led out of the room._

 

As they follow him out, Felicity wakes finding Lyla shaking her awake telling her they’re landing soon.

 

They pull up to the safe house. It’s in a nice neighborhood. Felicity can see a few bikes littered on lawns. As Lyla pulls into the driveway, Felicity takes note of the quaint charm and cuteness of the house. It reminds her of Ivy Town, but she has to compartmentalize that. Can’t fall down the rabbit hole.

 

Lyla shows her around the house pointing out the bedrooms and her panic button and room should they need it. ARGUS will be there in seconds once she hits the button.

 

“You’ll be okay?” Lyla asks once she hands over the keys and is satisfied that she’s done all she could to help her friend.

 

“About as good as anyone can be with something like this. I mean I just became a single parent to a young teen who I’ve only known for a year.” Felicity looks sheepish as she takes in Lyla’s soft expression full of pity, and Felicity hates it. “I’m sorry that got dark quick. We’ll be fine. I promise. Go home to your boys. I’m sure they need you tonight.”

 

Lyla hugs Felicity a little too hard, but Felicity’s honestly surprised she can feel anything. Once she and William are alone, Felicity shuffles into the living room to find William staring at a blank TV.

 

“What do you think Dad’s doing right now?” William looks as tired as Felicity feels. How will they get through this? She hears Oliver’s answer in her head. _One day at a time, Felicity. You can do this._ She wants to hate him right now, but she can’t. It’s a mortal lock.

 

When Felicity thinks about what Oliver could be doing, it’s grim. He’s setting up his too thin mattress and folding down his blanket. Felicity almost laughs sardonically knowing that’s more than he had on the island. But now he’s surrounded by criminals who could corner him, beat him, shank him. She can’t say that to her stepson. So she says the only truthful thing she can think of.

 

“I know he’s missing us right now.”

 

Felicity sits on the couch and opens her arms and William comes into them thankfully. He lays his head on her shoulder and Felicity lays her head on top of his in response.

 

“Can we watch TV, Felicity?”

 

She adjusts their position so she can reach the remote. “What do you want to watch?”

 

“How about some Walking Dead?” he suggests.

 

Blood, gore, fighting and killing zombies — that sounds perfect right now to Felicity. She grabs her phone and cues up an episode. She sits back on the couch and William places his head in her lap and Felicity’s heart breaks just a tiny bit more, if that’s possible. She runs her fingers through his hair just as any mother would do for her son. That gives Felicity a little confidence that she’ll be okay at this.

 

They don’t get halfway through the episode until both are softly snoring. Felicity with her head lulled back against the couch. She’ll wake up with a kink in her neck, but she won’t have the heart to move William.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felicity's dreams are haunted by her husband and others. So when she won't get out of bed, William calls for help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've never written something this dark before. I think this is where I would put a trigger warning for depression and some self-loathing. Most of the time my one-shots are fluffy and sweet, but this chapter got away from me. But I think it's because it feels real and I like that. Hopefully you do too!
> 
> As always please forgive any typos, I try to catch the all (like pokemon) but some tend to fall through the cracks.

The following morning Felicity is awoken by a soft knock on the door. She’s frightened for a second and she gently removes William’s head from her lap and lays it back on the couch. Felicity picks up the panic button off the kitchen island and pads quietly to the door. On tip toes she peeks through the hole in the door and contracts her body with relief when she finds Raisa on the other side of the door. She ushers the woman inside with a sleepy smile.

 

“Miss Felicity, are you and Mr. William alright?”

 

Felicity puts a finger to her lips and gestures for Raisa to follow her into the kitchen.

 

With her voice still low, Felicity responds. “We’re as good as we can be. How did you know where we’d be?”

 

Raisa places her hand over top of Felicity’s where it sits on the counter. “Mr. Diggle called and asked if I would come help you.”

 

Felicity sends up an unspoken thanks for having such a thoughtful friend.

 

“Well, William is asleep on the couch. Honestly, I’d like to let him sleep for as long as he wants. And if you’re okay, Raisa, I’m going to lay down as well. I hate to leave you —“

 

Raisa pats her hand, “Think nothing of it. I’ll find my way.”

 

Felicity makes her way to the couch to check on William one more time. He’s still slumbering so she leans down to place a kiss to his hair hoping not to disturb him.

 

Felicity becomes acquainted with her new room. The comforter is starchy like it’s been washed too many times, but the sheets are clean and it won’t take a feather mattress for sleep to claim her. Before laying down, Felicity heads to the bathroom to wash her face. She’s just toweling off the water and catches her reflection in the mirror. The woman staring at her looks different. She’s no longer the happy newlywed. She’s exhausted and the bags under her eyes tell that story. But it’s the hollow look in her eyes that is the starkest difference. Where there would be light and hope is replaced by misery. Felicity switches off the bathroom light not wanting to looking in the mirror anymore.

 

Felicity should have known her husband would haunt her dreams. _They’re laying on the beach in Bali. Felicity’s eyes rake over her husband’s body up his sun-kissed abs very much wanting to lick inside each and every crevice and maybe even sneak her hand down the front of his swim trunks. Her eyes skim up his broad shoulders and she thinks about how he always carries the weight on the world on them. How she’d like hold on to those shoulders and never let go. Then she finds his perfect pink lips and imagines them on her neck then nibbling her earlobe feeling his hot breath inside her ear and sending pleasure straight to her core. She can’t see his eyes because their covered by his Ray Bans but she can picture those crystal blue eyes staring straight into her soul. Felicity bites her lip and a smile spreads across Oliver’s face surprising Felicity because she thought he was asleep._

 

_“I’ve missed you so much,” he says._

 

_That puzzles Felicity. How can he miss her? He’s been with her the whole time on vacation. But when she looks over to Oliver’s beach chair he’s no longer in his swim trunks. Instead his whole body is covered in an orange jumpsuit and he’s shackled at the ankles and as she looks up so are his wrists. In fact, they’re no longer on the beach. Felicity is standing outside his cell as he sits inside on the bed head hanging between his knees._

 

_“OLIVER!” He doesn’t hear her. She pulls on the cell and the door springs open. “Oliver, come with me. Let’s leave this place.” But he doesn’t move. He acts as if he can’t hear her. She yells his name over and over. Finally he speaks when he throat goes raw._

 

_“You should be in here, too,”  he says. Felicity’s insides sink. How can he say that to her.?She looks at the man sitting in the cell but it’s no longer Oliver. It’s Rory. “You should be in here after you killed my parents. My whole town. You’re a murderer, too. No better than him. You should be locked up behind these bars forever."_

 

_She can’t take it anymore. Felicity runs down the hall. She can’t be here. She doesn’t want to be here. She trips on the door jam and stumbles out of the prison. But arms surround her saying her name — first as a whisper and then growing louder and louder, “Felicity!”_

 

She jerks awake to find Raisa standing over her looking concerned. “Ms. Felicity, I made a light lunch for you and Mr. William. Will you come eat?”

 

Felicity looks at the clock. It’s 2 in the afternoon and while logically she’s been asleep for a few hours the nightmares didn’t allow her to get any rest.

 

“I think I’m going to stay in bed, Raisa.”

 

The housekeeper looks at her with sadness in her eyes, but nods her head and closes the door. “I’ll make sure Mr. William eats.”

 

God, she’s already failing her boy. Can’t even get out of bed to make sure he eats. But right now the darkness is calling her and she can’t say no.

 

_She’s sitting at the table with William who’s chatting animately about his day and all about the new math equations he's learned. It’s something that she capture Felicity’s attention but something else in the corner draws her eyes away. It’s Chase. She looks to William wondering if she can shield him with her body in time, but then somewhere in her mind she remembers he’s dead. Oliver watched him die. He can't really be here. He can't be a real threat._

 

_“How could you let him abandon you just the same way that your father did?” Chase spits from his perch on the counter. It's a low blow, but that's how Adrian Chase works, Felicity tries to remind herself._

 

_“He didn’t leave us because he wanted to. He did it to save us,” Felicity finds her voice at just the right time. No way she’ll let this monster slander her husband._

 

_But it doesn’t faze him. Chase smirks, “You’re a single mother now, Felicity.” She hates the way her name sounds on his lips. “You’re exactly like your mother. Alone to take care of a child, a child that isn’t even yours.”_

 

_“He’s mine!” She yells and her anger radiates out causing William to disappear. “No, William, come back.”_

 

_Chase gets off the counter and advances on her. Felicity doesn’t move. She won’t let the monster win. “How can you take care of anyone? You’re not a parent. You didn’t even have good role models in your own parents to learn from. You aren’t able to do it. You couldn’t even keep Ray’s company. You lost that, too. You’ve lost everyone. Oliver. Sara. Laurel. Lance. Your dad. Everyone leaves you, Felicity.”_

 

_“No, get out. Get out of here!” Don’t listen to the voices, she says to herself over and over. But unfortunately they have a point. How could she ever know how to take care of another person? She can barely take care of herself._

 

 _“Felicity?”_ a quiet voice asks. It’s different. It’s no longer Chase.

 

William is in her bedroom and this is no longer a nightmare.

 

“I can leave if you want me to, but I just wanted to check on you.” He looks ready to run out the door and that has Felicity thinking more dark thoughts. Maybe her nightmares are right. William should be with someone who can actually take care of him. And she can’t even get out of bed.

 

“I’m sorry, buddy. I’m alright. Just really tired.”

 

He looks like a little boy and it tears at Felicity. Why can’t she help him? What’s wrong with her?

 

“You haven’t eaten yet and I’m really worried about you,” William says.

 

Felicity sits up just a little in bed. “I got up last night and ate a banana,” she lies. She hasn’t gotten out of this bed in a few days. “You don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be okay. Just give me a couple of more hours to sleep and I’ll be right out there with you.”

 

“Ok,” he doesn’t sound convinced but he doesn’t push her any further. “I love you, Felicity.”

 

“I love you, too, Buddy.”

 

William walks out to find Raisa cleaning up in the kitchen. She told William that Felicity would be okay. She just needed some time. That she would work through her issues and be better. But it’s been three days and Felicity hasn’t come out of that room. He’s heard her crying in her sleep. And he can’t take it anymore. He’s going to call in some reinforcements.

* * *

 

Felicity’s subconscious had finally taken a break on her. Instead of monsters invading her dreams, it’s limited to just Oliver repeating again and again, _“I’ll always come back to you.” But she doesn’t believe him. Every time he says it, her anger builds._

 

_“Felicity, I’ll always come back to you. Felicity. Felicity. FELICITY!”_

 

She violently comes awake to someone shaking her shoulders. “Felicity, get up!”

 

Felicity lifts her head from the pillow, hair matted against her face. “What are you doing here?”

 

“My nephew called me saying his over-thinking stepmother needed help. So the calvary has arrived!” Thea says, all too charming for Felicity who has spent the last few days in self-hating mode. “He’s really scared, Felicity. And says you’re not taking care of yourself. When was the last time you’ve eaten?” Thea asks and then leans over his sister-in-law and sniffs. Felicity’s hair looks like it hasn’t been washed in a month. And as Thea glances over to the nightstand she sees Felicity’s glasses gathering dust. “Or showered for that matter? You stink.”

 

Felicity tucks the covers around her more using them as a shield. “I’m fine, Thea.”

 

“No, you’re not. Again I’ll ask, when was the last time you ate something?” Right now Thea reminds Felicity why her middle name is Dearden. She’s scary similar to her mother. She's not someone to be brushed off. 

 

“What day is it?” Felicity asks. She’s embarrassed that she even needs to ask that question and regret starts to sink in.

 

“Tuesday,” again Thea says in a not to be messed with tone.

 

“Since Oliver left us.”

 

Thea picks an invisible piece of lint from her clothing. “You’ve gone five days without eating,” Thea says evenly and Felicity decides that scares her even more. She expected Thea to rail at her. “That’s irresponsible, Felicity, and Oliver would be disappointed.”

 

“Yea, well he doesn’t get to be disappointed,” Felicity spits with venom in her voice. That sentence immediately has Felicity bristling with angry. “He left us.”

 

“Listen, Liss, I’m not going to defend what he did. But you have another human to be responsible for, as well as yourself, and I won’t see you crumble into a shell of a person. Ollie wouldn’t want that. I don’t want that. You need help and it’s okay to ask for it and take it.”

 

Felicity's anger softens and she knows Thea is right. The last five days were not healthy. “I don’t think I can do this without him, Thea. We've always been a team and now I'm alone in this. I’m basically a stranger to William and now I’m his only parent!” Why don’t these Queens get that, Felicity asks herself. It must be the way they were raised. “I couldn’t keep plants alive when I lived by myself. How am I supposed to raise a teenager by myself?”

 

“Well for one, you’re not by yourself. You have me and Roy and Digg and Lyla and even Raisa. We’re all here to help you, Felicity.” Thea worms her hand underneath the comforter to find Felicity’s and gives it a squeeze. “And two, you are Felicity Smoak and you never back down from a challenge. You've hacked the un-hackable. You don't back down. And even if you have a question about what to do for William, you can ask the internet.

 

"And if you haven’t noticed, my nephew is pretty awesome and he adores you. He has far more in common with you than Oliver. He loves you, Felicity.”

 

Felicity smiles at that. They are both math nerds and they love to play video games. Oliver’s hopeless at these games, which the two of them always found so funny. He could shoot a gun or bow in real life, but put a controller in his hands and he can’t remember which button to press.

 

“And if you don’t believe me, Liss, just read what he wrote about you in his journal.” Thea produces said journal from behind her back. Well, maybe the son has more in common with his father than she thinks. Felicity’s never read Oliver’s journals. She’s wanted to, but she’s always respected his privacy and she’s not about to cross that line with her stepson.

 

“I can’t read that, Thea. That’s invading his space. It’s something my mom would totally do. That’s why I’ve never kept a journal.”

 

Thea flips the journal open to the page she wants and hands it to Felicity. “Just take it. You need to read this and if William really wanted to protect his journal, he wouldn’t just leave it on his desk. And we don’t tell him that we read it. That’s a rookie mistake.”

 

“Where is William?” Felicity feels ashamed she hasn’t asked that question sooner.

 

Thea crosses her legs on the bed and gestures toward the journal once again prompting Felicity to read. “Roy took him to some arcade a couple of blocks over. Said they were going retro. I don’t know, but I told Roy to keep William out of the house for a couple of hours.”

 

Felicity exhales not realizing she was holding any air in, but she’s glad William is with Roy because she knows he’s safe.

 

“Read it,” Thea pushes again and Felicity rolls her eyes.

 

_Hey Mom,_

 

Oh gosh, Felicity’s already on the verge of tears because he writes his journal as if he’s talking to his mom. And that’s the most precious and heartbreaking idea. What a clever boy. But she can’t dissolve further into her emotions because Thea gives her a stern look and she dives back to the page.

 

_I don’t know where you are, but I’d like to think you’re in heaven. And if that’s the case, can you ask someone to help Felicity? She’s having a really hard time right now and I’m worried. I think you’d like her a lot, Mom. She can’t cook, but she knows how to play video games and she’s great at it. Maybe even too good, because I think she lets me win. But only sometimes. She’s also made Dad smile a lot, and me too, since they got married. After you were gone, I didn’t want to come live with someone I didn’t know. We never talked about my dad and then I was supposed to live here with this strange guy who shoots a bow and arrow. But Felicity’s really helped. I think she’s helped Dad and me get closer. And she says I’m like a genius at math. You always told me that too._

 

_But now Dad’s gone and we don’t know if he’s ever coming back. And I’m glad I have Felicity. But she’s really sad. I heard her crying in her bedroom the other night and I wanted to go in there and hug her. I want to be able to help her somehow so that’s why I’m telling you, Mom. I hope you can help because I don’t want to lose Felicity, too. She’s the only one I have left. I need her and I want to be able to tell her how much I love her. I love you too, Mom._

 

Thea hands Felicity the box of tissues because she needs them. “I’m so embarrassed that he heard me crying. That’s too much responsibility to lay at his feet.”

 

“Felicity, you guys need each other and that’s okay. But it’s time to climb out of the hole you’ve fallen in. So here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to go shower. After that shower, you’re going to march into the kitchen and make the plate that Raisa left for you in the fridge. And you’re going to eat everything on that plate or else I will take away your tablet for a month.”

 

“You wouldn’t,” Felicity says looking incredulous at her crazy sister-in-law.

 

“You know I would,” Thea smirks back. “Then you’re going to make an appointment to talk to someone. What happened these last few days can’t happen again. Then when William gets home, you’re going to talk to him and figure out how the two of you make this work. You got it?”

 

“Sir, yes, sir,” Felicity mock salutes he stand-in drill sergeant. “Is this the Queen-family version of an intervention? And what will you being doing all this time?”

 

“I have an errand to run. If you remember, Felicity, I haven’t been in the country for the past few months.” Thea climbs off the bed to give Felicity room to get up. “I’ll clean up the room, make the bed and such while you shower.” Thea wants to make sure she hears the shower come on and Felicity actually gets in it. “And then I’ll be off. But if you need me, you call me. Don’t hesitate.”

 

Felicity grabs a change of clothes from the dresser and wonders who put her clothes away. It was likely Raisa. She’ll have to make sure to thank her properly. “I will. And Thea, thank you for coming and for your help.”

 

“No need to thank me. That’s what family does.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At some point in time, we have to get happier right?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thea visits her brother while Felicity calls upon a friend to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I've been sitting on this chapter for a little while. It's been done for a week or so but I just haven't had time to share it. I think because we're in this lull right before Comic Con.
> 
> As always, please forgive any typos. I try to catch them all but this isn't beta'd.

Thea’s errand is a plane ride away. She got Lyla to make sure she was on the approved list to visit her brother. She feared he wouldn’t put her on the list because he didn’t want her to visit. Well, she wouldn’t give him a choice.

 

Thea hands over her ID and sets her purse down on the table before walking through the metal detector. Nothing beeps and she’s able to walk to the sign-in station. Thea pins her badge on her coat and follows the guard to the visiting area. She’s not sure what she’ll see, but she can’t imagine a week in a supermax prison has Oliver looking like his usual charming self.

 

She sits down on the cold metal chair and waits for them to bring her brother in. Seeing him is worse than she expected. His head is down as he shuffles his feet that remain shackled. His hands are also cuffed and secured with a chain around his waist and worst of all he has a black eye. He listens to the guard and sits down in the chair. They uncuff his hands and leave.

 

Oliver finally looks up and Thea gives him a half smile. Oliver tried to return it, but Thea noticed his eyes gave away his mood. His eyes are haunted and he’s only been here a week. They have to get him out of here.

 

Thea picks up the phone on the wall and Oliver does the same. “Hey, big brother.” Thea’s voice is calm and soothing, or at least that’s what she’s hoping to convey.

 

This time Oliver gives a genuine smile. It’s still small. “You’re not who I was hoping would visit first.”

 

“Ouch. And here I was happy to see you.” In her time away she’d forgotten how much she misses talking to her brother. How she wishes this glass didn’t separate them.

 

“You know what I mean, Speedy.” Oh good, Thea thinks, he hasn’t lost what little of a sense of humor he had. “How is she?”

 

“Not great, Ollie. Her husband is in prison. I think she might have handled your death better than this.” Thea’s words are blunt but true. And looking at the state of her brother, maybe she should have softened her words but part of her is on Felicity’s side. He didn’t tell her what was happening.

 

“Is she okay?” Thea doesn’t respond immediately. She’s thinking about how to answer that question. And her gut is telling her it’s not her place to give away Felicity’s story. “Thea, you’re killing me here. Is she okay? Are they both okay? They’re not hurt, right?”

 

Thea hears Oliver’s voice get louder with each question and the panic set in. She also sees the guards in the corner step a little closer to her brother.

 

“Calm down, Ollie, before they cut our visit short. They’re okay. They’re not physically hurt. But I don’t think it’s my place to elaborate anymore. That’s up to your wife. And she’ll come visit you when she’s ready.”

 

She can see her brother grip the phone harder. His knuckles go white and she can see that a couple of them have cuts. So he hasn’t been on the receiving end only of the beatings. Good for you, big brother, Thea thinks.

 

“But you’ve seen them both?” Oliver continues to worry.

 

“Yes, Roy is with them now and I’m headed back there after our visit. They’re safe and we’ll make sure they stay that way. Okay, Ollie?” Thea places her hand on the class with her fingers spread out and Oliver matches her. It’s not the same as hugging him, but Thea will take what she can get. “But I have to tell you, Ollie, this is not your best idea. Really, it’s quite dumb. And I’m not even talking about the prison part. Well, not completely. That’s still an idiot move. Outing yourself as the” Thea’s voice drops a couple of octaves, “Green Arrow…you know that’s the opposite of a secret identity, right?”

 

Thea lets out a laugh at Ollie’s almost eye-roll. “Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Speedy, but it was Agent Watson’s condition to help save the city and Felicity. I couldn’t pass up the chance to save everyone, even at the cost of my freedom.”

 

“But to not even tell your wife until you’re handcuffed by the FBI? Ollie, that’s not who you are now.” Thea might have just gotten out of a coma when her brother finally got married, but she’d truly thought he had learned his lesson after not telling Felicity about William.

 

“I was afraid she’d talk me out of it and then we’d both be behind bars. I couldn’t risk it.” And where Thea expected her brother to look away from her, instead he sat staring at her and she could feel the desperation in his eyes. “Thea, I can do my time in here knowing that my sacrifice kept her free and kept William with at least one parent. I’m the reason Felicity was even in the crosshairs of the FBI. Her work with me made her vulnerable. And without hesitation, I will always choose her over me.”

 

Thea huffs letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding onto. Thea might think him dumb for choosing this, but she can’t fault his motive. She takes a good look at him and sees the facial hair already growing in quickly. Thea also spots the bags under Oliver’s eyes sure that he hasn’t gotten much sleep always worried about the danger lurking in a prison like this.

 

“I can’t promise anything, but I’ll talk to her.” Thea gives her brother a half smile, confident that it won’t be long until her sister-in-law comes to visit.

* * *

 

Digg is at Argus browsing page after page of equipment they’ll need to rebuild the new bunker. He hated to take a break from the search for Diaz, but rebuilding Team Arrow was a new priority for Digg.

 

Digg is scrolling through his fifth page of training dummies when his phone pings.

 

**Hey, can we talk?**

 

_Everything okay?_

 

**Yea, I just need someone to talk to**

 

_Give me 5 mins and I’m all yours_

* * *

 

Roy had called Felicity to ask if he and William could catch a movie after the arcade and nothing could have stopped Felicity from saying yes. Although she couldn’t wait to have William back so he could see that she was doing better.

 

Now by herself and no longer hungry (thanks to Raisa’s chicken salad sandwich), Felicity sat at the kitchen table with her tablet propped up. She tapped on the video chat and called John. Felicity brightened a little when John came on the screen.

 

“Hey, buddy,” Felicity quips trying for her typical positive attitude. It’s more likely that’s trying too hard. But her demeanor quickly dissolves as tears well in her eyes. She’s so grateful John was able to talk with her today. Felicity knows he won’t take the place of a licensed professional but right now she wants to talk to someone who knows both her and Oliver.

 

“I can be there in a couple of hours if you need me to be, Felicity,” John says. “You just say the word and I’ll be there.”

 

“No,” Felicity says, at first meekly, but she strengthens her voice. “No, John. Stay with Lyla and JJ. I have William and Raisa and now I have Thea and Roy, too. I just wanted to talk to someone who knows…us both.”

 

Felicity watches John adjust the position of his tablet while she guesses that he finds a chair. He’s ready for a long haul conversation with her and it’s endearing. Felicity had such a hard time making lasting friendships growing up the way she did. But here she was with the best friend she could think of while missing her other best friend.

 

“Want to tell me about the past few days, Felicity?” She’s happy there’s no judgment in his tone. That shouldn’t surprise her knowing what John has experienced in the military.

 

“Well, I had a few nightmares.” Digg’s eyebrow raises. “Mostly just about how I deserved to be in prison with Oliver or that I’ll be a terrible mother to William and the honeymoon we never got to have.”

 

“That’s some heavy stuff, Felicity,” John says, “But you definitely don’t deserve to be in prison. You’ve saved so many people including myself and the team countless times, and that’s not even counting all the times you’ve saved the city. But that guilt over Havenrock is easy pickings.”

 

Felicity knows he’s right. It’s an easy target for her depressed thoughts to attack. She’s tried her best to put Havenrock behind her, but there’s not a day that goes by that she doesn’t think about the decision she made.

 

“How am I supposed to take care of a pre-teen by myself, John? I watched my mom struggle as a single parent and I never wanted that for myself or any other child. I’ve been there and it’s not fair.”

 

“You seem to have forgotten for just a second that you are Felicity Smoak, MIT graduate and former CEO of a Fortune 500 company as well as the badass who keeps Team Arrow together. There is no challenge you can’t overcome.”

 

“But, John, I —“

 

“I’m sorry. I’m not trying to dismiss your concerns. But this isn’t the biggest issue and I think you need to say it.”

 

This was the conversation Felicity wanted to have but now she feels the nerves settle into her bones. Feels the adrenaline pumping through her veins. But part of her knows that admitting it out loud could lessen the all-consuming fear. “Well, John, the last time my significant other went to jail he died.” Felicity pauses there to mentally curse Cooper. The silence between them stretches and Felicity feels ready to fill that quiet void. “Of course he faked that death and then came back to threaten me, but that’s just another day in the life of being Overwatch. But what if Oliver —.” Felicity feels her throat constrict, tightening until she feels like she can’t breathe. She can’t say it. She can’t.

 

“What if he doesn’t make it?” John finishes for her.

 

“I won’t be able to come back from that, John. This is different than the time with the League. Then I always thought we’d get him back and I had slightly more time to process him leaving for the League. None of us were ready for any of this-this time.

 

“And now he’s locked up with people who he probably helped put away and he’s almost defenseless. And I know, I know, he survived five years in hell, but he’s grown so much since then that I’m afraid he’ll be soft. He’s not the killer the island made him into being anymore. Maybe he won’t defend himself the way he should. There’s nothing I can do about it.”

 

“For starters, Oliver isn’t Cooper. From what you’ve told us about him, Cooper doesn’t have Oliver’s strength. It’s a strength you’ve helped him fortify and it’s going to help him get through this. And you can do something. You’re going to take care of yourself by talking to a doctor. I know you can take care of William, and then we’re going to work on a way to get Oliver out of prison. We won’t rest until he’s home with you and William. I promise you that, Felicity.”

 

“But why didn’t he tell me, Digg? Why did I have to watch him get dragged out of the hospital in handcuffs as dumbfounded as everyone else? He promised no more lies.” Felicity can’t fight the tears any longer and she doesn’t. She lets them fall and wipes them off as they trickle down her cheeks.

 

“Because you would have talked him out the deal with Watson,” John says without accusation or judgment. And he’s absolutely correct.

 

Felicity deadpans to the tablet’s camera. “You’re one thousand percent right about that. We could have figured out a way around it -” John cuts her off.

 

“No. Then where would we all be, Felicity? In prison with him. Almost all of our kids without parents and a city without anyone to protect it.”

 

“So my husband has to sacrifice himself to save everyone?”

 

“That’s what he would do in this situation every time. It’s what he’s done before, Felicity. It’s exactly what he did with the League. He chose to save the city by giving himself to Ra’s.”

 

Felicity hates when Digg uses logic. “And he tried to kill himself then. He’s not known for making the best decisions.”

 

That actually has John laughing, an almost foreign sound for Felicity.

 

“Felicity, you know this time is different. He has everything to fight for now. You and William. And just like I know why he didn’t tell you what was happening, I know he’ll not give up trying in prison.”

 

“He’s an idiot.”

 

“Yes,” John says quickly.

 

“But I love him.”

 

“Absolutely true. Same with him.”

 

“Thanks, John.”

 

“You don’t need to thank me. It’s what family does for each other.” They both fall quiet for a few seconds and Felicity takes a deep breath.

 

“Felicity, promise me you’ll talk to someone.”

 

“I promise, John. I’ll call Lyla and have her recommend someone Argus approved.”

 

“Thank you. Also, promise me you’ll do something silly with William. Sit on the couch and each ice cream all night. When he called me, he sounded so worried and I know that’s something you two have done together before. Just reassure him that you’re going to be okay, please?”

 

“Thanks for plunging that knife deeper into my heart, John,” but that’s why she called him. John Diggle will give it to her straight. No sugarcoating. “I love that kid.”

 

“Ok, text me when you make an appointment. And I’ll talk to you later, yeah?”

 

“Of course. Thank you again. Stay safe.”

 

“Always, Felicity.”


End file.
